Simpsons Porn Story: The Simpsons X Chapter 4

-1Homer

its
not typical that I see you here, Moe says as he gives Reverend
lovejoy a beer.

just
thought I might need a drink, I never thought my daughter would be in
jail,

oh
yeah, you will never believe you has been to jail, I say sipping
my beer. Its warm on my tongue like a hot dog. Mmm hot dog. I
wonder if they actually use dogs in hot dogs, I mean Im fine with
eating a dog and all but only if I know for sure that it died in a
painful way.

your
boy was with her when she got caught, is he dealing or something?

Bart
dealing? I say with a laugh. If Bart was dealing then I wouldnt
have to work so hard to get the family at the just below poverty
line.

well
where did she get the weed from?

its
a small, poor town, everybody deals now and then, Moe says as he
pulls out a pipe and smokes some weed.

what
are you getting on your high horse for anyways? Its not a sin to
smoke weed, your daughter was probably just escaping your tight
religious grip, I say taking another sip of my beer. Reverend
Lovejoy gave me a harsh stare before looking pathetically at his
beer.

maybe
your right, I just dont understand where I went wrong,

Next
time dont buy Mexican condoms, see sperm like tacho flavoured
holes, thats where you went wrong

right.
Tim says as he drinks his beer.

well,
at least your daughters are hoodlums, I cant say the same about
your son,

hey,
hey Bart has some flaws but he isnt a hoodlum,

he
is the most infamous person in this town,

no
your daughter is!!!

Well
to be honest, both of them are, Moe says but everyone in the bar
knows Bart has slowly started to change.

At
least Bart is changing, Reverend Lovejoy says as he bursts into
tears. I dont know what to do, I slowly move my hand towards him.
I am so reluctant to do it, but I do it I grab his beer and skull
it before patting him on the back.

dont
worry, the bible one day will give you some answers, All though it
hasnt actually given any yet.

Bart

The
sun hits me sharp in the eye as I awake. Its an awfully sunny day
but there is only thought in my mind. Only one thought ever in my
mind.

Lisa
what do you want?

I
want to know who stole my whiskey bottle, She says harshly,
accusing me of a crime I have committed.

Lisa,
you shouldnt even be drinking, I mean dont you want to get into
Harvard or something,

those
dreams are long gone, I mean how the hell is dad going to afford that
anyways? She says as she sits down on my chair.

you
know whats special about today?

no,
I reply getting out of bed.

Today
is the day Jessica is getting out, I look at my calendar, there it
is circled in bright red, the day Jessica is getting out.

your
right, I say as I make my bed.

well
arent you going to go see her?

Lisa
there is something. Uhhh you know when Jessica was smoking
marijuana I was with her and I had some too,

yeah
I kind of already figured that out,

you
did?

Well
my I.Q is only 175 after all,

I
thought it was 185,

well
a few drinks plunged it, My own I.Q barely makes it too two
digits. The day went by slowly, me and Lisa were awaiting Jessicas
release. We were standing at the gates, waiting for her.

Jessica!!
Me and Lisa say at the same time as Jessica walks out, a free person
again.

wow,
even the air feels better out here,

Jessica,
I kind of feel guilty I start but Jessica interferes.

I
already said dont worry about it,

Well
it was cool too see you come out and all but I got a date with
Alex, well not really a date just going to go to her private
theatre.

oh,
well see ya, She says as I start to walk towards Alexs house.
She was waiting for me in the underground chambers of her home.

Hey
Alex,

Hey,
well what do you wanna watch?

you
got the South Park movie?

yeah,
its some where, She says searching the S stack of D.. After
she finally finds it, we sit back and relax on personal recliners. I
have never known any one as rich as Alex and I have never felt
comfort like this recliner.

You
know its weird, but I always wanted too have someone like Wendy
I mean Stan and Wendy are perfect together and having a relationship
like that would be awesome, I say as I get a frown from Alex. She
isnt really like Wendy, in fact she is the complete opposite.
Other than being popular they have nothing in common.

I
just want to say that Im so happy that I got you, I say after
an awkward silence.

Windows
98 is faster, its nearly Boom! I love that part of the movie
when Bill Gates get shot.

Im
so happy that I got you too, Alex says, get off her recliner and
joining me on mine.

Homer

Well
now that my daughter is out I guess Ill be seeing you guys less,

Awh
dont say that, Im starting to like you, I say watching the
Rev skull another drink.

you
know what I really enjoy? He says as the bar listens closely.

God?
Barney asks.

No
way man, having a nice gentle fuck with my baby Helen, I rather fuck
her then read another page of the God damn Bible. He is really
drunk now, and who wouldnt be after the amount of beers he has
had.

yeah
man, you wife is a totally babe, I mean if she didnt have grey
hair and all, Moe said, he too had a bit too drink.

What
did you say? The rev asked drinking another beer.

I
said I would fuck your wife, I bet she is as sluty as your daughter,

Thats
it buddy, The Rev punches Moe and Moe returns the favour. They
start fighting it out because they are drunk. Alcohol really is the
cause of all problems as well as all solutions. It makes you reveal
your true self in a way, you would never have the guts to say
something like that unless your drunk and Moe does actually think
Helen is hot. Religious Babes eww!! Well except that Maude
Flanders, except that she is kind of dead oh well I can be a
necrophiliac. I mean I always wondered what it would be like fuck
Marilyn Monroe.

ok,
Break it up! I say after the fight is over and both lay on the
ground bleeding.

uhhh
Barney, maybe you should call the ambulance,

uhhh
screw that, I can get free beer when Moe is knocked out, I do it
myself, the ambulance takes a while to get here. We had the number on
speed dial, even though its just faster to dial in 91… Uhh and
what ever the last digit is. I walk home, after grabbing all the beer
bottles that I could.

Daddy,
wheres the car?

oh,
uhhh I forgot,

HOMER!!!
Marge said but I was too drunk to really care. Jessica was sitting on
the couch with Alex and Lisa while Maggie was pulling on my pants in
a cute way.

oh
Jessica, your dad got into a fight?

you
got to be joking, fighting is so last century you know. Plus isnt
your dad like a church guy or something? Alex asks as sips on her
ice tea.

my
dad is a Reverend! Jessica says a little annoyed.

I
can sense some rivalry between you too, I know how to solve your
problem, here.. Have a beer,

HOMER!!
Marge says as she grabs the beers from me.

What?
It will calm them down,

no
it wont,

worked
for her dad uhh scratch that,

Dad,
its okay, Alex and Jessica have made up,

oh,
well in that case give me back my beer,

we
dont have your beer,

ohHey
Alex if your free tonight then you can meet me in the shed after
dark

HOMER!!!
Marge wasnt the only one that screamed that, Bart said it too.

Fine,
Fine.. How about you Jessica? Your daddy told me your very naughty,
I say with short chuckle. Suddenly everything turns black, damn I
didnt think I had enough to drink to pass out.