Simpsons Porn Story: Unexpected Connections Chapter 6

The next night I spent about an hour getting ready, longer than I ever had before, and this wasnt even including the time I put into choosing an outfit and accessories the night before. Now I was clad in a fuchsia, one-strap dress gilded with sparkles and was putting on my bright white, lace-up sandals. My usual band of white pearls reclined on my dresser for the night, as I had chosen a more impressive collar of pure gold with a sole diamond at its tip. I sang a little ballad as I got ready, unaware that my brother was standing at my door. That is, until he started snickering.

I gasped and jumped as I saw him. Bart, what are you doing, watching me? I couldve been naked, for all you know!

Between laughs, Bart replied, An hour after your shower? Please, even youre not that much of a prima donna.

Well, what are you doing, then? I asked angrily.

Just listening to you sing. Beautiful sound, by the way, Bart chuckled. Oh, theres something in the air tonight. Something electric! The point where love ignites the center of the heart!

Bart, shut up! I threw a pillow at him as he continued to imitate me.

Whoa, sis. Calm down, Im just messing with you, he tried.

I turned away and finished lacing up my shoes, attempting to ignore my brother so that he would leave for lack of attention. But he didnt. Just my luck.

So, have you told Dad yet? he inquired.

Told him what?

That youre lusting after his boss. Heh-heh.

My eyes grew wide and filled with rage. I am not! Bart, thats disgusting!

Is it?

Yes!

Then why were you so smiley and giddy after talking to him last night? And whats with your fancy getup, huh? Bart questioned, smiling deviously.

I luckily knew how to respond. I was smiley because we had a fight, and he forgave me, and it makes me happy when issues are resolved. And in case you didnt realize, we are going to a fancy party, which explicates the fancy getup.

Youve thought about this a lot, havent you? Trying to convince yourself you dont have a crush on Mr. Smithers? Bart said. But you do! Lisa likes Smithers! Lisa likes Smithers!

Shut up! I shouted as I tackled Bart to the ground, commencing a mild physical fight until my mom and dad rushed in.

Whats going on in here? my mom exclaimed as my dad pulled us off each other.

I gave Bart a menacing look, indicating his future of pain and turmoil if he said anything about our discussion. He gulped. Umwe were fighting over which one of us loves you more.Bad cover-up, Bart, I thought, seething.

My dad looked at us suspiciously. Come on, what were you really fighting about?

Bart and I looked at each other, unsure of what to say. I attempted, Fine. We were fighting over who gets the last Drumstick in the freezer. A bit more believable.

My mom replied, Hmmmwell, neither of you get it tonight. There will be dessert served after dinner at the benefit.

Okay, Mom. We wont fight anymore, Bart and I said in unison, prompting our parents to leave the room.

But before Bart and I could resume our fight, my dad entered the room again. Lisa, actually, I wanted to talk to you.

Bus-ted, Bart sang quietly to me as he left the room.

Ugh, I was disliking my brother more and more every day, but I held my anger in and said, Yes, Dad?

Umwell, I was just thinkingyou and Mr. Smithers have been getting along pretty well he started awkwardly. I held my breath. Was he catching on too? And if he was catching on, then Mr. Smithers must have known for certain. My heart rate increased at once. And I just wanted to ask you: are you trying to replace me as your dad?

Relief washed over me like a cool, invigorating tide. Oh, Dad, of course not! Its definitely not like that.

Then Bart popped his head in and said, Yeah, because then it would be pretty incestuous.

What? my dad asked. I panicked.

Bart continued, Its not a dad thing. Its a love thing!

Bart, shut up!

Lisa, whats Bart talking about?

Bart laughed and I clenched my fists. Nothing. Hes talking about nothing.

Oh, okay. Then why I am still here listening to him? I need a beer, my dad asked, exiting my room.

I then coolly yet furiously approached my brother, not wanting to have to use my fists but prepared to do so. Bart, Im warning you now: if you dont shut your mouth about this bizarre theory of yours, I will permanently injure you.

Bart scoffed. Oh, yeah? I wonder what Mom and Dad will think about that.

Maybe I wont injure you physically. But I bet you wouldnt be too happy if I told Dad that you charged $1,000 on his credit card for that stupid trampoline, and I bet Mom would love to find out all about your collection of fake IDs.

Bart uncrossed his arms. You wouldnt dare.

Oh, I would, I said, finally being the one to leave my room, leaving Bart standing there in contemplation.

Lisa, dont let him get to you. This night is going to be great. This night is going to be magical, I told myself, hating Bart for putting me in this sour mood.

Are you ready to go, kids? my mom asked from downstairs. I began walking down and Bart followed. I looked up at him.

Yes, Mom, were ready, I answered as Bart and I shared a final glance at each other.