Simpsons Porn Story: Call of the Simpsonsyet again Chapter 1

Call of the Simpsons

By
JennaWrites

Chapter 1: The
Adventure Begins

One sunny
afternoon, Homer was resting in the hammock.

Homer sighed,
Ahh, what perfect day. Its just my hammock, a duff, and me.

No work. No boy
(Bart). But most importantly, no Flanders.

Did you call
my name neighboroonie? Flanders asked on the other side of the
fence. Homer complained, Doh! Stupid Flanders! Now my afternoon is
ruined!

Flanders said
Well Homer, not meaning to be such a bother but

Too late,
Homer replied.

But shouldnt
you be at work today? Flanders asked.

Then Homer got
up, thinking of an excuse why he isnt at work.

Uhh my
boss is sick today, so work was cancelled.

Aww, what a
shame, Flanders said feeling bad for Homers boss, Mr. Burns.

Well could
tell your boss for me to feel better? See ya.

Homer laid back
on the hammock, and Homer muttered Pftt, right up my

Flanders then
came back and added, Oh, by the way Homer, would you like to come
to watch me help tearing down the church, Im bringing the crane
there?

You, tearing
the church? HA! Ya, right Flanders. The church is your soul! Homer
joked.

Well,
actually, were only tearing down a portion of the church so we can
build a much larger addition, that way well have more room for the
homeless and alcoholics, said Flanders.

Stupid
Flanders, helping the ones in need. Homer muttered.

So would you
like to come? asked Flanders.

Oh, Flanders,
Id love to, but I have a tight schedule today. Homer said
acting sorry he couldnt come.

Homer thought of
his plans Eat, sleep, have a duff, sitting on my a-s-s watching
TV, and then eat and sleep some more.

Well I dont
blame you, I bet youre a hard worker. Youd probably be pooped
after today replied Flanders.

Homer got up to
his feet and angrily Are you calling me lazy!

No Homer, Im
not calling you said Flanders.

After all
Ive done for you? I have a mug that says Worlds Greatest
Neighbor, but now youre insulting me! Homer shouted.

Homer! Youre
misunderstood me! said Flanders.

Well, Ill
prove Im not lazy. Ill do two hundred push-ups everyday. Heck,
Ill even drive your stupid crane to church! stated Homer.

Homer jumped
over the fence into Flanderss driveway.

Then he got into
the crane, and Flanders ran over to him and asked Homer, wait! Are
you sure you know how to operate this type of machinery?

Homer replied,
Dont be such a wimp Flanders! Of course I know. Its easy as
riding a tricycle. You just have to learn that everything isnt
that hard.

Then Homer
accidentally pushed the gear forward while he was talking to
Flanders, and the crane jerked forward, speeding into the street.

Homer was
startled, but acting like he meant to drive the crane out of the
driveway at amazing speed. See, Flanders, theres nothing to
it!

Homer, look
out! shouted Flanders.

Homer turned his
head around and saw that he was speeding towards a woman taking her
baby on a walk in a baby carriage.

Ahhhhh!
Homer screamed.

Luckily, Homer
turned the crane in another direction, missing them.

Then the crane
started to spin uncontrollably down the street.

Homer yelled
Flanders, HELP!

Homer kept
trying to stop the crane from spinning by turning a different
direction after each second.

Finally the
crane went smoothly straight again.

Whew,
Homer said relieved.

Then Homer
looked up and realized that the crane was now speeding towards his
house.

Homer shrieked
Ahhhhhhh!

Homer! You
have to push the red handle foward in order for the crane to stop!
shouted Flanders.

Homer quickly
found the red handle and pushed it foward.

The crane made a
sharp stop at least two feet away from the house.

Whew, that
was close, Homer said in relief.

But because of
the sudden stop, the wrecking ball swung forward, and crashed into
the house.

DOH! said
Homer.

Homer climbed
out of the crane to see how bad the house was damaged.

The wrecking
ball crashed through all of the family’s bedrooms.

Oh no! What
do I do, what do I do, what do I do! Homer said apprehensively.

Then Homer said
more calming to himself Dont panic Homer. Its not all that
bad. Marge and the kids arent home yet from the grocery store, and
insurance can take care of the damages.

Then Homer saw a
letter on the ground and said Hey, whats this, Homer asked.

He opened the
letter and read it.

Then he screamed
MY HOUSE INSURANCE IS EXPIRED!

Homer fainted,
and then he was in a fetal position, shivering in fear.

So thats
why those letters kept coming in, he said nervously.

Then he got up
and said to himself Okay, so there is no help from insurance, but
at least Marge and the kids arent home yet.

Uh, Homer,
isnt that your family driving up our street, Flanders asked.

Looked up and
saw Marge driving down the street in her station wagon.

Aahhhhhh!
Homer shrieked.

Oh, Marge is
going kill me! Or much worse, DIVORCE ME! Homer said all panicky,
I cant let her see the house!

Homer ran
towards the car, and then leapt in front of it.

Marge and kids
saw Homer and screamed Aaaahhhh!

Homer screamed
too Aaaaahhhhhhhhhh!

Homer fell to
the ground, and frozen in terror.

Then the car
stopped suddenly.

Homer got up
from the ground and said, Uh, hi.

Homer! What
in the world were you thinking! Marge said.

Uh, uh
Homer said nervously.

And why do
you look so nervous Homer? asked Bart.

Uh, uh
Homer said.

Homer suddenly
had an idea, he said, The Simpsons are going camping!

The kids cheered
Yay!

Marge said in
glee Thats great Homie, when?

Homer said Uh,
right now!

But shouldnt
we pack? Lisa asked.

I already
packed for you, Homer said.

Okay then,
well go get it, Marge said as her and the kids were about to
get out of the car.

NO! Homer
screamed in terror, Uh, I mean Ill get it.

Homer went
inside the half demolished house get what was left in there. Then he
came back with the luggage and the cat and the dog and entered the
car.

Were
bringing SLH (Santas Little Helper) and Snowball II with us?
Marge asked.

Uh, of
course. Kennels are expensive, and Grandpa is so old school. Homer
answering Marges question.

Hey! Im
not old school! said Grandpa.

(We see Grandpa
wearing clothes that was hip when he was a kid).

So which
campsite are we going to Dad? asked Lisa.

Uh why
dont you choose honey.

Well I always
wanted to go to Indian Rock. Its a has a great activities, and
its a national landmark.

Homer said Then
Indian Rock it is.

Homer floored it
and the adventure begins.

Is just me,
or did I see some smoky mist outside by our house? asked Bart.

Uh, uh why
are we listening to this Old MacDonald crap? Now heres some real
music. Homer said.

Homer popped out
the Maggies Old MacDonald CD, and popped in a Rolling Stones CD.

Maggie glares at
Homer.

Hey, theres
no one else complaining, sister, Homer said to Maggie.