Simpsons Porn Story: Slumber Party Chapter 1

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Slumber Party

Smithers, its getting late. Are you ready to go yet? Mr. Burns asked, perturbed, as I tied my brand new tanzanite blue bow tie around my neck adroitly but with haste. I had bought it especially for this occasion. Mr. Burns and I had been invited to the most exalted party of the year, hosted by Shelbyvilles wealthiest citizen, Mr. Jacob Harris. Mr. Burns and I were the only denizens of Springfield whose presences were desired at that particular, prestigious event, and Mr. Burns wanted nothing more than to attend it.

I was rather elated at the prospect myself. Unusually, I was invited separately from Mr. Burns to the party, and although I loved to be considered one with Mr. Burns, it made me feel special to be thought of as an individual member of the elite society rather than just another members also rich lackey.

Im almost ready, I replied, messing one last time with my cufflinks. Okay, lets go. I summarily strode a couple steps so that Mr. Burns and I would walk in unison out my front door.

You know, Smithers, if I didnt know better, Id think you were a woman by the amount of time you spending putting yourself together! cried Mr. Burns rather dramatically and definitely exasperatedly. And you dont even need it in the first place.

I smiled. Thank you, sir.

It wasnt meant as a compliment, you nitwit. I was zinging your personal habits. I couldnt help but grin at the awkwardness with which Mr. Burns use the word zinging. I chuckled softly and we ambled out the door.

Thats odd. I could have sworn we took the black limoAh! Its snowing! Oh, blast it, its snowing! exclaimed Mr. Burns as we both stared into the white-soaked evening.

I put a hand on Mr. Burns shoulder to console him. Its okay, sir. Its just a little bit of snow.

Just a little snow? Smithers, well never be able to get to the party in this blizzard! We dont even have snow chains.

We both looked at our fate and sighed. Well, I guess we should go inside then, sir. If I cant drive us to the party, then I suppose I cant drive you home either.

I suppose youre right, Mr. Burns said, disappointed. Damn it, Smithers. This party would have done wonders for our careers, Mr. Burns continued as I took his fur coat from his body and hung it on the rack in the living room. We could have possibly expanded the plant into Shelbyville if we made the right connections, and even though I detest that city, money is money. And God knows, I can always use more money.

I nodded. I know, sir. It was a promising night. But we shouldnt let our misfortune ruin our evening, should we?

Mr. Burns shrugged bitterly. Why shouldnt we? If you hadnt taken so long spiking your tresses so impeccably, we could have made it to the party before the snow fell. And now were stuck here with nothing to do. So, you know, Smithers, I think we should let it ruin our evening. Mr. Burns histrionically took a seat on my velvet couch and turned away from me, crossing his arms over his chest like an angry child.

Sir, with all due deference, if we had left any earlier, we would be stranded in the snow on some street with no refuge. At least, were safe here at my house, I pointed out.

Bah, safe. But I was prepared for a night of excitement. At least we would have gotten that if we were stranded on a vacant street, but here? Mr. Burns sighed. He looked to me. How the hell will we pass the time?

I had some ideas. Most of which I couldnt candidly tell Mr. Burns, but some were more innocent. We could have an old-fashioned slumber party.

Say what?

You knowlike children do, I explained.

Mr. Burns looked at me with sheer puzzlement and surprise. Smithers, were two sophisticated, grown men. Are you actually proposing we act like immature, prepubescent girls just for the sake of killing time?

I shrugged. Do you have a better idea?

Mr. Burns looked heavenward to the ceiling as if it would be tender him an answer. He then looked back to me and sighed. A slumber party it is.