Simpsons Porn Story: incent 1
You sexy thing, sexy thing. I believe in miracles, sang the radio along with a happy Homer, driving home from work. He parked the car and entered him home. The kids were watching TV and Marge was taking meals out of the oven. Having heard the door close, she shouted Kids! Diner! That night, the Simpsons were having chicken, except Lisa of course, who was having tofu.
-So then, Bart said, Mrs. Krabapple turned to the board and I used my last elastic to hit her glass of coffee, which made it tip and fall over our exams. I guess well have to do it again, but now, I know what to study.
-And you, what did you do?
-We received the notes from our last exam. I got an A++ but of course, Alison had an A+++. Stupid Alison, Lisa said under her breath.
-Oh, Homer started, by the way honey, Mr. Smithers is coming to visit us tonight. He says he wants to talk about something important concerning the family. He didnt mention what though.
***
Later that evening, Waylon Smithers arrived. They all sat in the dinning room, except Maggie who was sleeping upstairs.
-Ok, as I come here, know that this doesnt concern your job at the power plant. This is on my own terms. Even Mr. Burns doesnt know. Actually, this might be the one thing he doesnt know about me.
They all looked at each other, meaning yeah, that and the fact that youre gay.
-I come with a proposition. Ive interacted quite often with your family and find it quite charming. On my time off, I built a company, Snurb Corporation, which is registered and legal. Officially, it researches pharmaceutics products, but it never saw the light of any medical stuff. Actually, it deals with underground pornography.
He waited until their obvious shock passed. They always are, he thought, but they always see the light.
-I very well understand your reaction, but believe me, its not as bad as it sounds.
-Get to the point, said Bart.
Waylon took a deep breath before blurting out the whole truth about why he was there.
-Homer, I would like you and your family to make pornographic videos.
Marges voice covered the rest: WHAT?!
-I understand your concern Mrs. Simpson, and
-And nothing! I want you out of my house, NOW!
-Please, if you would just let me explain.
-Homer, show him the door. She didnt shout anymore, but her voice was ice cold. Homer had rarely seen her so angry and he knew the best was to obey, for the time being at least.
-This way Mr. Smithers.
Homer followed Smithers to his car.
-Well, Ive got your wifes answer, but what did you thing, Homer?
-I dont know how much does it pay?
-5000 dollars for your first movie, if its what Im interested in.
-5000?! Thats a lot of money!
-And easy money too Look, I see your wife in the window looking at me and quite frankly, Im scared of her. Heres my card, call me on my beeper anytime, day or night.
Smithers slipped a card to Homer before taking off in his red convertible. Homer hummed while looking at the card, reading: Waylon Smithers, CIO of Snurb Corporation.
***
That night, when everyone was sleeping, Marge went down to the kitchen for a glass of water. She couldnt sleep due to her thinking so much. She heard hernagging voice repeatedly saying No, to an invisible Smithers, along with how immoral it was, against the law and the bible However, behind that voice was another one, smaller, telling her she never had any fun, that it could be an easy income. Marge was so self absorbed that she didnt hear Bart come in.
-Hey mom.
-Hi sweetie. Why are you up so late? You have school tomorrow.
-I couldnt sleep. I was thinking about homework.
-Homework?
-Well, maybe its about Mr. Smithers.
Bart served himself a glass of water before sitting down in front of his mother. They just sat there, silently except for the sips of water, lost in thought for a moment.
-What do you thing about this, asked Marge.
-I can understand why you dont want to.
-But what do you think?
Bart took a drink of his water, not looking his mom in the eyes, uncomfortable.
-Why dont you ask Lisa? She has an opinion on everything.
-Because I want to know your thoughts. Bart took another nervous drink, still not looking her in the face.
-Well I suppose it would be alright.
He didnt look at her, but he felt her eyes. Mad eyes? Sad eyes? She took a sip. Her little boy was becoming a man.
-How, asked Marge, amazingly controlling her voice to keep it neutral, how would this be alright?
-Youre mad, arent you.
-Im not mad, Im just concerned, as Smithers said. Concerned for all of your well beings.
-Well, the way I see it, it would bring the family together in a fun activity and wed be paid for it.
-What about the law? What if we get caught?
-Ask Smithers. You didnt leave him much time to explain himself. Im sure if he does this, he must have a good backup plan.
Bart got up and returned to his room. Marge just looked into the darkness. Maybe he was right. In some twisted way, what he said was true. What is they did do it? Would it really be better? First thing would have to be talk to Mr. Smithers, and then choose.
Marge went back to her room and returned to bed. Homer wasnt asleep. She knew because he wasnt snoring, and because a Snrub Corporation card was left on her pillow.
***
The next day, Marge confirmed with Lisa, the only who hadnt given her opinion yet, if she was for or against it. Lisa gave her the big thumbs up, having herself already considered the matter. If any doubt was left in Marges mind, it all left with the confidence in Lisas voice.
That day, none of them could concentrate on their tasks, which obviously didnt change much for Bart). Marge even had to get cookies at the store because she burned hers. And finally, the time came. Smithers rang.
-Mr. Smithers, welcome back. Please come in.
-Thank you Mrs. Simpson. I suppose that means youve reconsidered my proposition.
-I really much apologise for all this. I overreacted. As for your proposition, well have to talk first. This isnt something to take lightly.
-Right you are. And dont worry about yesterday, its natural that you want to protect your family. It only shows that you love them very much. And besides, Ive seen worst. Dont ask me what, but believe me, Ive seen worst.
-Please, lets sit in the living room.
The cookies were already on the table. Marge offered drinks to which everyone answered milk, except beer for Homer.
-Now that we are settled, lets begin with the questions. First, did you ever have problems with the law?
-No, none at all. When I started this, I knew the law would be big concern. I managed to bribe the judge and get him in my pocket. Quimby jumped at the idea of making movies so hes on my pay list and the mayor is just happy with the extra tax money Snrub brings to the city. Its taxed higher, but its worth every penny.
-Who has access to this, asked Lisa. Is there danger for my reputation?
-Only people who produced at least one movie have access. The distribution is made in the country or world wide, which is at the discretion of the people producing it. The people who see this are like you. Im associated with a world wide group and let me tell you: every detail has been checked and rechecked. There is a reason why they stand since the early 50s.
-Who are they exactly?
-Im sorry, I can only tell you as much as I already have. But they are so powerful that they have influence over the president, and not only of this country.
-Mr. Smithers, said Homer, please tell us about the five grand.
-Well, since you are new, you can only go as high as 5 thousand dollars. However, later movies can bring up to 20 thousand.
-What will be expected of us?
-Three scenes, a normal first timer. I would like to see every family member at least once, including Maggie, but the most important is to see all the kids. An infant must be present in every scene. I want a clear shot of everything, so youll usually need a cameraman, although some have made wonders with a stable camera. As for the rest, you may have the type of sex you wish: vaginal, anal, oral, masturbation (even though that isnt worth much), hetero, gay and lesbian.
Smithers fell silent and no one added anything. They were now all convinced that this would be a good thing, a great thing even. Everyone turned towards Marge.
-Well Mr. Smithers, she said, where do we sign?
***
Later that night, after their new boss left, Marge, Homer, Bart and Lisa sat at the table, their new video came in the centre and a notepad and pencil in front of Lisa.
-Ok, Marge said, if we are going to do this, we need a plan.
-But why honey? We never needed a plan before,
-This is a video that will be seen by, hopefully, tons of people. I want to get it right. What should we do as a first scene?
-How about Homer taking Lis in the butt?
-But why, said Marge.
-I dont know, because shes playing her saxophone.
-Or maybe I could come home sad because of a bad grade and dad would cheer me up. Actually, Bart could cheer me up as well.
-Now theres a good idea, approved Marge. Put it down as scene one, well, if everyone agrees
They did and after planning the four other scenes, they prepared the camera Smithers had given them. Everyone went into place.
-Ok, places everyone. Lights, camera and action!